Adultery: The Forgivable Sin
From Publishers Weekly
Everybody but your maiden aunt appears in this somewhat disorganized but ultimately helpful book. Woody and Mia mix it up with almost the entire House of Windsor. Tips to would-be paramours for avoiding triangles, scripts for discussions between cheater and cheatee, pre-relationship contracts outlining acceptable behavior and the ultimate in inner child work (embracing the wounded inner child of the spouse who cheated on you). Weill, a family therapist, and Winter, a syndicated columnist, maintain that cheating runs in families and is done to fill emotional rather than sexual needs, but their analysis lacks depth and is the least interesting aspect of the book. And by encouraging wounded spouses to be more sexually giving to their wandering partners, they belie their point that adultery is not about sex. They do point out that married men aren’t the only ones on the prowl–so there is much to study here for the suspicious of both sexes. Copyright 199…
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Here’s a look at reality. This book delves into family history, and psychology. This is more often than not the root cause of adultery so it’s important to look at this and understand it.
I appreciated the line in the forward by Thomas F. Fogarty M.D. “Indeed, the legacy of adultery may affect those not even born at the time of the affair.”
The authors examine the degree of work and commitment necessary to achieve a happy long lasting union. Self-examination is at the core.
Chapter six helps to take away the blind naive notions of romantic love. What can happen when a person does not deal with their own emptiness? They never find real life love and may turn to an affair to relive temporary passion and escape conflict.
I found this book to be quite valuable. It states that adultery is never ok. It covers much of the hard cold truths of betrayal. I think most people wouldn’t venture into this if they were informed as to the magnitude of damage it can cause. It’s not about two people. It’s often about many, many people including children. You can’t get happiness at the expense of others, and you can’t get it by running from yourself.
Through my own personal experience,(the betrayed spouse), I found this book to be accurate, helpful, and grounded in reality.
After being with my husband for a total of 5 years and having our first child, i found out he was having an affair with a girl from work. He eventually realized his mistake and came home, but we still struggled with this. we went to counseling, and this was the book our counselor suggested. it really helps you deal with what happened and why. If you are in love with your spouse who has been unfaithful, it gives perspective into both sides and makes you look deep into yourself to decide whether you can forgive or not. we have since had our second daughter and are looking forward to many happy years together with our family and without the “affair” hanging over our marriage. this book is a great one for anyone going through the feelings of mistrust, hurt, anger or anything with infidelity!