This will be the first set of holidays since my younger brother died. What are some ways to celebrate and preserve his memory?
Tags: After, brother, death, discussion, Family, Happy, Holidays, Member, Memory, post, set
This entry was posted on Saturday, October 31st, 2009 at 11:33 am and is filed under Holidays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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after my little brother died we went on vacation so we could just relax and remember the good times without having to sit at home, in negative environment (since thats where he died). also his bday is 6 days before xmas so i think it was a good way to get away yet still have him there with us, since we used to like to go on vacation when we could when he was still around. my parents also usually decorate his grave around this time to celebrate his bday/xmas.
A friend of mine actually went to a charity and found a child that was of a similar age and did Christmas for him and his family, it was a terrific way to aide in the healing process! I’m sorry for your loss.
The first Thanksgiving after losing our 15 y/o son was most difficult for my family & me. Out of habit, I set a place at our table for our son. When I realized what I’d done, everyone said to leave it in place. As the rest of the family gathered around the table, my husband said Grace & in doing so, remembered our son/brother/grandson. My son’s plate was empty but in spirit he was with us & that comforted us.
Make the holiday dinner in remembrence of him. Set a table aside with orderves and a picture of him with a guest book beside it. Have your family each share a special memory of him.
Some great ideas here. I’m going to try some of them. We’ve started a meal with a toast to the ones we lost, but haven’t tried the photo album and memory stuff.
It will be really hard but i would remember him on the holiday, have pictures out, Have him with you.. Dont ever forget him and make sure he is with you throughout every holiday..
Always know he is with you..
Deb
when my sister died, we talked and laughed about the crazy things she used to do as we were cooking dinner. For xmas, you can make an ornament with one of his picturs and place it on the tree. You could also all got to the cemetary on xmas eve and place poinsettas at his grave and say a nice prayer.
Just don’t be somber…think about what he would have wanted.
The holidays are hard after the loss of someone you love. My mom died in July 2006, and her sister in August 2005, both after prolonged illnesses, and last year I really wasn’t looking forward to any of the holidays.
On Thanksgiving, my sisters and I each made some special dish one of them used to make. My aunt always made dates stuffed with pecans and rolled in sugar, so one of my sisters made some for that day and gave each of us a small container to take home. I made my aunt’s potato salad with vinegar and oil dressing. It’s a unique family recipe and we all loved it. My grandmother made it, then my aunt and now me. I’m trying to teach my son and his wife, but they’re not much into cooking. My other sister made a squash dish that was passed down from Grandma to mom to her. This way we felt like they were still there with us.
We told lots of stories…”remember the time” kind of things. Then we brought out old photos and scrapbooks and relived some old days.
Christmas morning, Mom always had brunch at her house after we opened our presents. So I fixed brunch at Dad’s house. I’ll be doing that again.
Your brother will always be part of your family and in your hearts. Talk about all the good times you had together. I’m sure this will be a very difficult time for your parents. They’ll need your love and support and it looks like you’ll be there to give it to them.
Try and do what you normally do. Don’t act like he didn’t exsist though .. and don’t get upset if some family members are emotional. It’s very difficult to “go on” with life when you lose someone you love.
When my sister died 3 years ago (she was 36 years old – she committed suicide) right before Thanksgiving (her funeral was the day before) we spent our holiday’s looking at old pictures and laughing about stupid things we did growing up. It didn’t even start to take the pain of her sudden death away but, it was one way to try and take a step back into life for my family.