How Can I Man Prepare For Fatherhood?
My wife and I are hoping to conceive our first child soon.
How can I prep for being a dad?
I have a career, money, a paid off house, two safe newer vehicles, etc.
I am not talking about prepping like that though, I guess I mean more emotional preparation.
I want to be the best father I can be (my wife already says I am the best husband already lol).
Any advice?
- *Continuing the discussion from the original post found here.
Congratulations.
You are on the right track right now. You are a good husband, you are well prepared to accept the challenge of a baby and you have stability in your life.
First let me say that there is not a book out there that can give you the advice you need. It will come to you. Books will confuse you, especially if you read too many of them on raising children. Everyone has an opinion. Kinda like on Yahoo Answers.
I can’t imagine that you would need much advice at all. Being a father is one of the best things that can happen to you and your wife. It will change your life forever. Your wife will have gone through more than you can imagine once this baby is born. Once the baby is born she will focus on the baby. It will in no way mean she means less of you or does not desire you any longer. It is a big responsibility to bring home a new baby. That with all the other tasks at hand will be overwhelming. Pitch in and help wherever you can. Understand that her moods may not be n top of the world. Her body is going through a lot even after the birth process. Hormones can play havoc on a woman’s soul. Most of the things I have heard men complain about is the fact that their wife is not interested in sex. Sex is going to be the last thing on her mind. Be patient. All will come back to normal in time.
Teach your child to be respectful himself/herself and of others, teach your child about God, teach your child to be humble and compassionate, teach your child right from wrong. Be consistent and constant when teaching. Always let your child speak their mind. If you do it will always be done in a manner in which all of you can talk. Always keep communication open with your child, always let them know your child can come to you with anything without the fear of being punished. I have a rule in my home, it is the “no questions asked rule”. If my son (13) ever needs me I will be there for him as long as he calls me to come get him there will be no questions asked.
Children need to no they can depend on their parents, they need to know they can talk to their parents, admit your mistakes and they will learn to admit theirs. Children need to know their parents are going to be there for them. Be there!
You are going to be a great father!
Don’t ask people for advise. Love the child.
read books and get tips from other fathers.but then again nothing really prepares you to be a father
go with the flow & help Mom
There really isnt an answer to this. No parent is a perfect parent. You will make mistakes in raising the child but the only thing you can do is make sure that whatever you do for him, it’s because you love him. You will only learn as the years go by with the child. You will learn from him and he will do the same from you. It is better to be financially stable for a baby but money doesnt compare to love. The poorest family will have the same amount of love for a baby. You can get advice here, from parenting books but the real knowledge and experience will come when he is born and as he becomes older. Only take those books as reference, not literally as each child is different. I commend you for even asking this question. You’re a good man and your wife is right, i think you are already mentally and emotionally ready for a baby just from asking this question. just be prepared for sleepless nights, baby goo, vomit, and horrific screams. if you can get through that you are good to go.
You cannont prepare it comes naturally. Just love
read the bible:)
If you love your wife and she says that you are the best husband then, i think that you already have the knowledge of how to love and take care of someone. I think that you will know when the baby is here.
To prepare for fatherhood, all you need to do is just be there for your wife whilst she is pregnant…this means going to her doctor’s appts. with her and being her coach when she is giving birth. I know you’ll be a good responsible father just by the way you are acting so concerned now! All you can do is just go with the flow!
Nobody is perfect, but love them, be there for them and most of all, let them be their self.
Prepare yourself to experience a love so pure it will keep you awake at night. I love being a dad! Nobody can possibly prepare you for how awesome this experience is going to be. A few guidelines.
Never say anything to your child that attacks their self esteem- (like, that was stupid, etc…)
Hug them often. Allow them free access to you when they are little. That means if they wake up in the middle of the night, they should be allowed to come down to you and mom and snuggle right down between you. Children who can trust their parents to protect and nurture them when they are small, grow up to be teenagers who trust their parents to guide them in those turbulent years.
I wish you the very best man, oh yeah, and one final piece of advice, – remember that nothing you ever own will be more valuable than your child, so if they break something, be grateful they weren’t what was broken, and anything that you want to make sure doesn’t get broken, lock up for a few years until it is safe to put out again.
Most of these answers are good but I might add one suggestion:
If you can, spend time with one or two older men (fathers of course) who were important to you while you were growing up. Men you have always considered to be good role models. They probably still have more to teach you.
I would go to the “parenting” section of your local bookstore and check out some books to help you out and address your specific questions.
You are on the right track already! To question your ability to be a good dad means you are willing to learn and improve as you go. There are great books available for fathers to be, try reading some of those. Also be an active part in your wife’s prenatal care, if possible. Attend childbirth and parenting classes if they are available. You can even offer to babysit family members’ kids or even friends’ kids, just so you can practice the little things like diaper changing or reading a story.
You can be the best father you can to them by loving their mother.
Parenthood is something that just comes naturally. You can read all those stupid books until the cows come home but it can never fully prepare you. Listen to the song “Father and Son” by Cat Stevens. That use to make me cry all the time when I was pregnant. My son’s father use to think of himself as the son in the song until our son came. Now he’s both. Good luck daddy.
start building up your stock in your liquor cabinet, I suggest a few bottles of Patron ,as part of your stock, you will need them
I’m not a dad, I’m not even male, but I read that the more involved in the birthing process a man is, the more involved with the baby he will be. Maybe when your wife conceives you could both sit together and read to the baby (I’ve also read alot about how baby can hear it’s parents voices and music while in the womb. Also that baby can sense it’s mothers emotions and when she’s upset will kick more) Not only will baby be able to hear you, but doing this together would, I think, strengthen your bonds and the bond you’ll both build with baby. You and your wife can read every book on parenting there is, but I think going by your instincts is much more reliable. Congratulations ahead of time, and the best of luck to you both.
The greatest gift you can give your children is a stable homelife. I urge you strongly, if possible, to have their mother stay home with them. Be an involved parent. Even when you come home from work all worn out, make time for them. If possible, Mom needs to be a stay-at-home mom. The child needs to know that they are the most important thing in your life. Please don’t farm them out to someone else to raise. Be willing to scrimp if you have to and do without a second income just to give them a parent who is always there. When our first child was born, my wife quit work to stay at home. Our income went down 40% from that decision, but we have never regretted it. When the other kids in town were running the streets and getting into trouble, our kids knew that Mom had her eye on them. If they had a problem, Mom was just a holler away. Our kids may not have had all the latest gadgets, and we may not have eaten out as many times as the neighbors did, but they had love. Kids don’t really need alot of things, they just need the chance to be happy. Best wishes on starting your family.
Go with her to all of her appointments. Read all of the books that she is supposed to read. Find parenting support groups in your area. Go to childbirth classes, the ones that your doctor/hospital offers, as well as seeking out other classes in the community. Learn everything you can about the process of childbirth. But remember to respect her wishes. You need to be able to support her when things get crazy.
No drinking/partying. Also, try and read up on parenting. Check barnsandnoble.com – they have a huge selection of books on the subject.
I would say that your on the right track now, being concerned about being a good father. I don’t think anything can ever prepare you for being a dad, it just happens, and you kinda learn as you go. Just be the best you can be, do what you can do, and spend time with you kid. Don’t let work take away from your family life, or he/she won’t have a father, just a caretaker.
Good luck, and hope everything goes well with your wifes pregnancy.
READ READ READ. Realize that ALL babies cry, spit up, fall over, sh*t like a giant, and pee A LOT!!!!
Babysit (never say “my kid will never be like this”) and READ READ READ!!!!
Develop patience and remember: MEN and WOMEN are both EQUALLY important to the development of children…there is no MAN’S role or WOMAN’S role once the baby comes out!!!!
Oh wait…your wife may go CRAZY for a few months after. So YOU need to learn PATIENCE and READ READ READ
get a dog-you’ll be surprised how much care they need and how emotionally attached you will become. The rest will come naturally when you have your own child.
Being a father is going to test every bit of patience you have. There will be weeks that you get zero sleep, there will be weeks that the wife that loves you now, is so tired that she wants nothing but sleep, and I mean “nothing”. there will be times that your new born will be crying and you have no idea why, all you want to make him/her stop because of the pain you think your child is in makes you crazy. There will be times you THINK your doing all the wrong things for your child (but I guarantee, your not…. unless your an asshole and you hit or abuse).
To be the best father is to take “YOU” out of your chain of needs and to put your child and wife first and foremost above all else. All the other things you talk about, “being the best father”, will fall into place if you fallow this one not so simple rule……….and if your lucky, your wife and child will repay you with there admiration. Good luck
Father of 3 boys ages 3, 5 and 8.
To understand how to educate a child, you need to understand the internal design of the human being. Those specifications are clearly defined by the Creator of the live. God wrote the Bible for us learning what’s His Nature and ours. Believe me, I have 5 kids and the oldest is 24, I have a wonderful wife and an excellent job, just like you. My experience educating them using the Bible is just perfect. The kids are given by God for us taking care of them, and He gave the instructions with the Bible. Just study it, ask God to let you understand it and apply those principles in your own live and in your family’s.
drink as much as you can for the next few months be prepared for hormones the female type and be prepared to be petrified while your wife is giving birth don’t forget the drink because for the next 18 years your life is over ha ha only messing you’ll be fine